Christmas Thread Scarf

So, recently I have had a couple comments that what I make isn't crap. I mean there was the super cute football hat and most recently turkey shirts that are so stinking adorable that they would make Martha Stewart cry. And I would like to say that everything I make turns out that way. That I never look at something and laugh so hard I snort because it is just so freaking ugly. But that would make me a liar and I don't want to be a liar liar with my pants on fire. So, that is why I am writing this blog entry. This entry is dedicated to one super crappy scarf.

Saturday my dear friend and I went to a crap, I mean craft show with the little people. There was some cute stuff there and we each bought something. But let's be honest, what we bought was purchased to be a sample for stuff we could totally make. There was also a little covert picture taking so we didn't forget some ideas. Yes, I know it might be rude, but get over it. I don't need embellished dishtowels but they would make cute gifts with a nylon scrubber (which I did buy.) Ok, SuSu bought it and I owe her $1.50. I have no idea why I would go to a crap show and not take any cash. Oh, yeah, because I wasn't going to buy anything.

Well, after soaking up all the inspiration there is only one logical next stop...Hobby Lobby. I had an idea in my head that had nothing to do with what we saw at the show but had been percolating for awhile. Have you seen those super cute thread scarves? They look something like this...

(From the KiltedWoman Etsy store)

And the women who wear them look so together and stylish. I thought that could totally be me. I'm hip, I'm together, I'm stylish. Why are you laughing? Just because you don't see it doesn't mean that I'm not those things on the inside. Someday, when I don't have toddlers or teenagers in the house, you'll see.

I decided I wanted a Christmas string scarf. It would be way cool and slightly gaudy and tacky in that way that only hip Christmas apparel can be.

I bought my supplies at Hobby Lobby and made my scarf.

Here is what I bought.And here is what I made

Words and pictures cannot describe just how ugly this scarf is. It looks like something a reindeer might cough up, and then be embarrassed they coughed something so ugly up. No, really you have to see this thing. I laughed so hard if I had milk it would have come out my nose. And there is no saving this thing. I'll take it apart and make something out of the parts, but no counselor can save this relationship.

So, here it is. The first really crappy crap project I made. And yes, I still want to make a string scarf because when I see them I think, I can totally make that. But friends, I think this scarf reminds us all that sometimes you just need to say no I can't, and buy the freaking scarf.

Please do me a favor. If you see a super trendy, hip Christmas string scarf point me in the direction so I can be hip, cool, and put together for the holidays with a nice black sweater, an awesome string scarf, and snot on my shoulder.